Is Relationship Counselling for us?

Dr. John Gottman and the Gottman Institute are renowned for being the experts in intimate relationships with decades worth of experience and research. According to relationship and marriage expert Dr. John Gottman, couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help.

What can often happen is couples wait until they are already teetering on the brink of breaking up before seeking counselling. But what we find is the sooner we can get the foundations right the better. That means every couple - whether newly engaged or married for years - can benefit from couples counselling.

The other truth about relationship counselling is you learn a lot about yourself through the process - as we are often unable to discover our blind spots without the help of an objective view. Relationship counselling helps each individual get clear about what they want, and their own behaviours and thought patterns which translates into personal growth and awareness.

How can relationship counselling help?

Relationship counselling can help with a range of issues including but not limited to

• Working through infidelity and learning how to rebuild trust.

• Reconnecting and reigniting romance after having children.

• Improving intimacy and sex life.

• Getting clarity about your own needs and wants in a relationship.

• Understanding how past experiences and family of origin can effect out interactions with others.

• Understanding your attachment, love languages and defence mechanisms.

• Increasing communication skills to learn how to discuss hard topics better, because discussions or “arguing” is actually how couples work through issues- the key is how to do this effectively and learn how to reconnect when there has been a rupture in communication. Develop skills for the rupture and repair.

• Getting clear on shared values and goals. The cliché of every relationship having deal breakers is true. It is important for every couple to have the ability to have honest and open conversations about topics such as having kids, parenting, managing families and in-laws, work/life balance, sharing of domestic responsibilities, future goals and ideas. Without this couples may spend years together only to realise they have different ideas about llife.
  
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Our Four C Method (tm)

Our Four C Method is the formula we use for our Relationship Sessions, Retreat and Course. We will cover each of these four areas as they are like four legs to a table- if one leg is shorter than the others it will be off balance.

• Core - understanding each others core values, beliefs and ideas about life.

• Cares - understanding each others goals, dreams and wanted direction in several areas of life.

• Communication - working on communicating better by understanding what each others default patterns are, and how to tweak things to have better overall communication with each other.

• Consummation - Intimacy and Sex Life. Intimacy and non-verbal communication through touch and affection can be both reflective of the relationship, or influence other areas of the relationship.

How do sessions happen?

Sessions are 50 minutes long via zoom. We only offer zoom and not phone appointments so we can connect and see body language and facial expressions that can be missed on the phone.

We do like to speak with each partner individually before the session to ensure safety. The first session is all about understanding what has brought the couple to counselling and what is the history and surrounding environmental dynamics to the couple. After this session we can get a clearer idea of directions to work and what is most important for you as a couple.

We ensure that each partner has equal time to speak and feels heard. We understand that there is usually one partner open and willing, and another unsure and anxious about the counselling process but we endeavour to make both parties feel comfortable and safe in the time provided.